There and then

Last week..

Went for an interview in IKEA. I wont call it as an interview because basically what we did what chatted, gossip updated each other- me, Irene and Jason. Sigh I hope I make it through.

Today..

I submitted my resignation letter. I guess I'm not that strong to face it all. I am not made for this. Mean people are mean. Took me a while to make this decision. But this 3 things that happen all in a month.

Ah go die la you people.

x

Content

I am in a such happier place right now, I couldn't ask for more. Alhamdulillah.. Finally, everything falls into place. And I hope it stays this way. :)

A has been such a sweetheart. And I hope I won't ruin things.

x

Moving too fast

"This weekend Ellisya pergi kursus kahwin. Dia kata nanti dorang nak tukar to one week."

"Ehhh mana boleh! Orang kerja la apa la. Takkan boleh buat punya la."

"Yeke? Betul juga. Tapi kata ada qiamullail semua.."

"Eh, tidur sana ke pulak?"

"Thats what they say la.. Better be safe than sorry."

"Jom?"

"Huh?"

"Jom la pergi kursus kahwin...."

"Umm. Ok. Jom?"

"Nanti search kat mana ok."

"Eh! Dia la search, kawan ramai dah kahwin."

"Ok, boleh."


And now.
I'm speechless.

Here in your arms

Yesterday.
I felt sick in the office. A came to pick me up. Thought he'd come with a car, instead he came with a motorbike. Parked it near Ampang Point, and drove my car home. Had a quick lunch at McD. I'm not gonna lie, but I felt good instantly. What is this la? Demam tipu tipu? No, I was really sick. Doctor said my temperature was 39c. Which was pretty high.... Anyways, it was sweet of him. Smitten all over again. (Ish!!!)

Later that night, he sent me this..

Erm...

So... I thought its about time he knows this..

Mind the clip, the lyrics...

"I felt inlove, inlove with you suddenly..."

Thought he didn't notice it. But boy, cepat pick up lah this guy. (I think I'm the only one who takes hint slow..) He asked me, 'I felt inlove, inlove with you suddenly?' I didn't reply though. 

Let it be.

Time will tell. 

x

Sunshine gone

I'm confused.

I like A, a lot. Like a lot. The thing is.. He just got out from a 7 years relationship. 7 freaking years. Not just lah, they broke up like a year or two. But the situation is a bit like O and me. We didn't have a proper goodbye. Just no strings attached. But him on the other hand, the ex has 'moved on' to another guy.

Until...

She saw his comments on my instagram. She was furious. And he felt guilty.

Why.

Why do you have to rain on my parade?

Working Girl

I officially hate my job. I freaking hate it. But the only thing that keeps me going is I don't wanna be a quitter. I don't want my baby brother to see me as one. (Yet I've quit so many times before.. Well thats another story.)

So, lets see how far this goes.
Or I shall move on to Plan B this August.

Look on the bright side?
A came all the way from Shah Alam (may I add after work?) to have breakfast with me. Sigh what did I ever do to deserve a sweet guy like this?

Till then,
I. Hate. My. Job.
x

Betwixt

So...

I started my first day at work. It was....... Horrible. Let me spill the deeds into points:

• Washroom- Shared. Yes, shared into one are divided into 2 spaces. So, you can powder in the washroom basically because a guy might come out of the washroom and it'd be all awkward.
• Surau- SHARED. Yes, I repeat SHARED. Only one surau. And how do you alert the gents if you're inside? By putting your girly girly shoe outside. So, what if a girl is wearing a boyish kinda shoe? Wise word of my trainer... Nasib lah! 
• No overtime pay (OT) or anything for me. And I might have to work during the weekends for certain occasion. 
• 6 freaking months of probation.
• 6 freaking months of probation with NO LEAVE. Only UNPAID leave.
• Insurance? Only for staff. No applicable for spouse, children. 
• Maternity leave only for the first five kids. ---- told A this, he said are you planning to have 11 kids? No, but I don't think its fair for some people. Anak kan rezeki... ;)
• You have to wear make up to work errrrrrrday! (Everyday)
• "Kalau you tak pakai lipstick, I tonyoh marker pen dekat bibir you!", Trainer. What. The. Hell. I feel like I'm in school again!
• We had to put our hands on the desk so she could check our nails. IS THIS EVEN NORMAL?!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay thats all. I hate this place. *repeat with me*

x

Unemployed No More

By the time you're reading this (as if I have readers?), I am starting my first day at work. Eeeks! My first real job!!! How exciting. And nerve wrecking at the same time! I'll be working somewhere in Ampang- still in the retail department. Because firm sucks. Hahah.

Guys,

You're now talking to PANDORA Malaysia's Visual Merchandiser Executive.

*ehems*

x

Secrets Out

Almost 3 weeks (or so) this little affair has been going on. Nobody knew. (Except for my best pals. Duh! I can never keep any secrets from them!) As for our mutual friends... Nope. Nobody knew. Until he received a text messages yesterday afternoon......

"Ooooooooh kau sekarang dengan Belle eh!! Dah habis ah, semua orang aku dah kecohkan."

He was so freaking nervous. He even trembled. But acted cool.

"Ye ah, memang la aku dengan Belle ni dekat Paradigm. Kenapa?"

"Cinta kenangan silam."

He showed me the text above. We both bursted out laughing. Makes sense.. Afterall we were each other's first puppy love anyway. Teheee :)

On the other hand, things are moving way too fast. (I think..) Met his sister's family yesterday. Even hung out with them for a while. His niece....... Adorbs!! I want one of those little smiley baby tooooo!

x
Ps: I am very much still single. Mingling around wont hurt, no?

Smitten

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."

Yesterday, today, tomorrow..

x

Confession

I think..... I like you, A.
I really, really do. 

Resolution

Umm.

Its the first of March 2013.I just made my 2013 resolution. I hope I'm not too late to join the bandwagon? 

Well.

There's not much.

I only want to spend most of my time with my family- my parents, best friends, friends- no matter who you are, and extended families. Because you never know when you'll see them again. I want them to know I appreciate them with all my heart. Ah.. My previous trip has totally change me to someone more positive, and I hope it stays this way, InsyaAllah.. I see things clearly now, and I thank Allah for that. Thats what I've been praying for all these while. :')

I've been spending lots of my time with my parents, and my best friends. I had lunch with my ex from high school! Surprise surprise. Though I hesitate at first, but then I thought to myself why not? He's still a friend (well, sorta..) of mine isn't he? Talked, and laughed for hours. Oh yeah that dude is getting married soon!! Alhamdulillah..

Oh.

And lets just hope what I have plan out for this year will become a reality.. No I am not getting married. Not anytime soon until I found my Mr Right. 

I'm leaving all the negativities aside. 

And move on! 

x

Finale

You know that feeling, when you wanted someone so badly. Not a certain someone, but just someone special who you could talk to about your day, tell him your worries, share whatever you have on your mind, and he'll be listening to you, smile and tell you everything's gonna be alright. And you on the other hand, believes him. Because.. Just because he has this glow on his eyes that makes you trust in him.

Uhuh.
Yeah jetlag is making me watch movies back to back every mornight as what H told me.

But ofcourse, we all want that. Or at least thats what I want. Not now though. Don't even think I'm ready to be in a relationshit. To be honest, I'm just traumatized by it. Heheh. Dramatic much?

.

On a lighter note, I finally have the courage to delete ALL of our photo's. (Read; 2,000 photos) Now all of the evidence is gone. Kapish! Well not all of 'em are photo's, some are just print screen from our skype session, videos he made for me for my birthday's or anniversary and shit. Yep, all gone. Truth is, I kept it for over a year now because... I felt that there's hope. Not that I look at it every now and then. Honestly, last time I looked at those photo's was when I was making him his goodbye video. Almost two years ago? You know, who knows... He might change to be a better person. The person I fell inlove with.

But..

During my recent visit to London, I met him. Fine, I am a person who can not keep her words.... He just came back from Barcelona, swing by to London the next day (did I mention he ponteng his class?). I on the other hand did not expect him to come at all!  Funny because we met at Oxford Circus Underground. So it was kinda like a surprise because we did not plan to meet there. There he stood, looking all awkward with his grey coat, brown leather sling bag, and jeans, he came by and said, Hi you.. and smiled. I was nervous, acted all cool tho. He asked me where I wanna go. Then, there we go wandering the streets on London, just the two of us. Went to Emirates Stadium, Abbey Road, lunch at Camden Town, and tea at Starbucks, Westfield. Yep, quite a number of places for someone to go considering we only had like 8 hours?

Sadly.

I realized. He's a different person. Totally different. We talked, updated each other about our lives, change views on things, but things are not the same anymore. Maybe I've changed too. I don't feel what I used to feel. He even told me he's seeing someone now, well I... I was a little jealous. But I don't feel sad, at all. So thats when I realize.. I don't love him anymore. I just want someone as a boyfriend figure. Maybe the only person I had in mind is him, since he gave me all that before. But I'm sure I can find another guy who can treat me better. :)

.

I told Mama the whole thing. Her jaw dropped. Boy, was she furious!

"Awat keluaq dengan orang yang panggil Kaklong macam-macam?"

Entah.

"Kalau Mama jadi awak lah, Mama tak pi dah."

Bukan plan pun, Ma. Dia dah datang.

"Biaq pi dia la!"

Thats when I realize, no matter what happens no one will ever love you more than your parents. Just cherish them when they're still alive. :')

.

Oh, remember G? I kinda.... Putus kawan with him. Sounds funny but I can not take his bullshit anymore. He lied to my face repeatedly. So I told him to stay away from my life. I am mean, liddat. I know.. He said I'm a cold hearted girl. I might be.

Oh well.

The world works in mysterious way ay?

Till then,
xxx B

Chapter 14/365

One question. Just one. One tiny question. 1 word, 3 letters...

WHY?

Chapter 1/365

Aha new beginning of a new chapter, 2013- 365 chaper, 24 pages per chapter. :)

I'm gonna blog everyday, to keep up what I do. NOT.
Happy new year. Happy. Happy. Happy? I hope!

x