Finale

You know that feeling, when you wanted someone so badly. Not a certain someone, but just someone special who you could talk to about your day, tell him your worries, share whatever you have on your mind, and he'll be listening to you, smile and tell you everything's gonna be alright. And you on the other hand, believes him. Because.. Just because he has this glow on his eyes that makes you trust in him.

Uhuh.
Yeah jetlag is making me watch movies back to back every mornight as what H told me.

But ofcourse, we all want that. Or at least thats what I want. Not now though. Don't even think I'm ready to be in a relationshit. To be honest, I'm just traumatized by it. Heheh. Dramatic much?

.

On a lighter note, I finally have the courage to delete ALL of our photo's. (Read; 2,000 photos) Now all of the evidence is gone. Kapish! Well not all of 'em are photo's, some are just print screen from our skype session, videos he made for me for my birthday's or anniversary and shit. Yep, all gone. Truth is, I kept it for over a year now because... I felt that there's hope. Not that I look at it every now and then. Honestly, last time I looked at those photo's was when I was making him his goodbye video. Almost two years ago? You know, who knows... He might change to be a better person. The person I fell inlove with.

But..

During my recent visit to London, I met him. Fine, I am a person who can not keep her words.... He just came back from Barcelona, swing by to London the next day (did I mention he ponteng his class?). I on the other hand did not expect him to come at all!  Funny because we met at Oxford Circus Underground. So it was kinda like a surprise because we did not plan to meet there. There he stood, looking all awkward with his grey coat, brown leather sling bag, and jeans, he came by and said, Hi you.. and smiled. I was nervous, acted all cool tho. He asked me where I wanna go. Then, there we go wandering the streets on London, just the two of us. Went to Emirates Stadium, Abbey Road, lunch at Camden Town, and tea at Starbucks, Westfield. Yep, quite a number of places for someone to go considering we only had like 8 hours?

Sadly.

I realized. He's a different person. Totally different. We talked, updated each other about our lives, change views on things, but things are not the same anymore. Maybe I've changed too. I don't feel what I used to feel. He even told me he's seeing someone now, well I... I was a little jealous. But I don't feel sad, at all. So thats when I realize.. I don't love him anymore. I just want someone as a boyfriend figure. Maybe the only person I had in mind is him, since he gave me all that before. But I'm sure I can find another guy who can treat me better. :)

.

I told Mama the whole thing. Her jaw dropped. Boy, was she furious!

"Awat keluaq dengan orang yang panggil Kaklong macam-macam?"

Entah.

"Kalau Mama jadi awak lah, Mama tak pi dah."

Bukan plan pun, Ma. Dia dah datang.

"Biaq pi dia la!"

Thats when I realize, no matter what happens no one will ever love you more than your parents. Just cherish them when they're still alive. :')

.

Oh, remember G? I kinda.... Putus kawan with him. Sounds funny but I can not take his bullshit anymore. He lied to my face repeatedly. So I told him to stay away from my life. I am mean, liddat. I know.. He said I'm a cold hearted girl. I might be.

Oh well.

The world works in mysterious way ay?

Till then,
xxx B