My best dish yet

Lets take a break from my wedding post.

---

You see after the wedding we still haven't sorted out where to stay. We are always moving around either my parents place or his mum's place. Well not really; weekdays at my parents and weekends at his mum's place. But even so, we do have dinner at his mum's place once or twice during weekdays. Not a problem, since its only 10 minutes away. Except, it can be exhausting at times.

So...
My colleague have been asking me,

"Belle, you seem like you're in a rush. You balik you masak ke for your husband?"

or...

"What did you cook for dinner last night?"

I always reply them with a smile. *and run as fast as I can*

To be honest.. I haven't really cook anything for my husband. Bad wife, I know. But you see, my mum cooks better than me. (You can actually count how many dishes I can cook or more to fry or bake!)  and because we stay with my parents, ofcourse my mum cooks for us all.. With my help. Duh! (By help I meant, cutting onions and garlic)

Until one day....
We had an early dinner outside, so when we got home it was quite late and A was hungry again. So, he told me that. Being a good wife *ehem* I said, let me prepare for you something...

Guess what I made?
..

An omelet. *proud*
Yes guys, you read that right. I made him an omelet. A special one ofcourse! (By adding mayo) Boy, he loves it. I thought he's just being nice but he tambah nasi twice.

Happy? Yes.
But you know whats sad about it? Every now and then A will say..

"Sayang, I teringin la makan yang you masak tu. Telur dadar tu... Bila nak buat lagi?"

To be honest, my heart breaks everytime he says that. Kesian lah. Thats the best dish his wife has ever made for him kan. -_-

x

Pre Wed Preparation Part 1

I've been wanting to blog about my wedding for quite some time... But you see, I've been really occupied. I come home from work, either I go to my inlaws (which is 10 mins away from our house) and come home to sleep, or I spend my time at my family's. Cooking, cleaning, being a good wife. NOT!

So where do I begin?

Wedding preps?
Ahh yes.

I think somehow I did my wedding preps quite early. Around August we went to Jakarta to find materials; wedding cards, fabrics, and doorgifts. For bride to be out there, yes Jakarta is definitely the place to find your wedding needs! I went a little crazy.

We hired a driver for our 3 days stay because from what I know Jakarta is not a place you want to  mess with. The traffic jams.. Is out of the world punya jam lah. So having a driver around is convenient. Plus, we have tons of things to settle in 3 days. I would love to give his contacts, but I think he is on the highest side. Not really recommended.

As for accommodation, I booked a chic hotel near Tanah Abang- Kosenda Hotel. Major love for this hotel. Their interiors leaves me in awe. They take little details into consideration.

Okay moving on.
First stop.
Tanah Abang.
To be completely honest, I was a little a lot busy before our  trip I didn't do any homework. What color for my family, his family (his mom asked me to decide for them too heheh). All I know is I want white for solemnization (nikah), and I want one timeless color for my reception. No green, no purple, no red! I don't want to show my grandkids my wedding photo one day, and hearing them say "Why do you look like Barney, Grans?" Uh no. Lets just say I want safe colors- so we opted for champagne-ish, cream.

So...
Since yours trully did not do any homework (for my/his family), when I got there.... I went a little cray cray! One moment I wanted green, next bronze, and then maybe yellow looks good too?

Finally..

Purple for solemnization, teal-green-blue ish for reception, and dark purple for majlis bertandang. For reception, we bought our entire family fabrics too, so no excuse not wearing the same color!! >:( Price? RM4 per meter. We saw the same material (Sorry I forgot the name! Not good at remembering fabric names! Heh) here in KL, cost around RM30-50. 

AND!

We manage to find a perfect fabric for my nikah. A full beaded embroidery white fabric. Some example of the beaded fabrics.. 

My full beaded fabric cost about *hold your jaws* RM400 or 500? For 6 meters. YES! 

Next day, we went hunting for my reception fabric. I had a few design saved to my phone. Reality is.. We didnt use any of those design for my wedding dress. Hahah. So next stop, Mayestik. This place is heaven for fabrics!!!! I kid you not!

And that is my reception fabric. I forgot how much it cost, but yes full on beadings. Lagi full compared to nikah. I think I took 7 meters for that. But I'm pretty sure its below RM800. 

Next stop, wedding card!

You see, this girl right here likes to berangan. I have always wanted a laser cut card. The intricate beauty of it. Entah lah. I googled did a bit of research and found a place with good review. But its a little further from Jakarta city center. Takes about 45 mins drive with slight traffic; imagine with bad traffic! I didn't take any picture of the shop, but you could take a look at their website; Doco Cards. 

How does the process work?

I pick a decent size of the laser cuts, I didn't want to have full on laser cut; one because of the price (duh!) two macam cikpong cikpong sikit. Heheh. Then pay 30% of the price, after that you can email them your preferred design that you googled of what not, or just give them an idea of how you want it to be. After that, they will email you their artwork from you to choose. Pay another 30%. Pick the color for the cover- as for mine they had to "create" the colored paper since I want champagne cream. Send final artwork, pay the remaining. And your card is ready to be shipped! I made it sound easy, don't I? Hahah. 

Eeeks.

Last but not least, doorgifts aka wedding favors!

Call me picky, but I wanted something people can use. Food? I know for sure it will end up in the dustbin, unless its good (read: ferrrero rocher) But I have to say, my wedding favors is not my first choice. I wanted something else, due to budget constraint (duh, it cost about RM10 per piece) I picked this instead:

The one in bronze, around RM3.50 per piece. No discount eventho we ordered 2500 pieces. Mama, the over achiever wanted 2500 justtt incase takut tak cukup. I still have a lot left, any one wants one? Or two. Again, I won't recommend this. Beli jelah doorgift dekat Malaysia. A lot easier there. This person here doesn't really understand Malay nor English. And the quality of the box is quite bad. Aiyaiyai. 

Hah. Done with the pre-wed preparation part 1.

Next.. Pre wed preparation part 2. That.. Maybe next year hahaha.

x B

Twenty seven

I swear whenever I meet someone now, I could answer their question before they start asking me it. Which is?

"Hows your wedding prep?"

And boy, if I get a dollar for every person who ask me this, I'd be able to save it for my unborn child tuition fees. Hahah. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture. Its just, I'm a little stressed out. To be completely honest, I have not yet settle those eeny meeny tiny little things that does actually matter!


Example?

PA system.
Band.
Kompang (??)
Ustadz to recite du'a
A few hantaran stuff (!!!)
Flower girls
Etc...

You know, I've never really paid attention at weddings. One fine morning Mama asked me, who will lead my entrance? To which i answered, errr the groom's family lah! She said no, you need flower girls! Thing is, our family doesn't have any kids. The youngest I think is 8 or 9. Umm a bit too old to be my flower girl, no? So Mama being Mama said,

"Eh ask Jaja if we could borrow her little cousins!"

-___________-

FAIL.
Aiyo, where got people borrow other people's family members!

I think I'll organize a freak out party at my house, in 7 days. 

x

ps: Yes, A this post is for you.

Hey Jules

Oh hey. *Blows dust*

I kinda expect that I'd neglect this blog. I mean.... Not that I have anything better to do. But everytime when I get the idea on what to blog or whatnot, it will always be in the shower or while I'm driving (especially when you're stuck in traffic... Which is errrrday!) or when I'm having lunch/dinner with my friends; they don't know this but sometimes my mind wanders off to another place. Heheh.

But here I am again. Cececeh.

You see, a few months back my family I adopted a kitten which A got it for me named Jules. I think I have a confession to make. And I also think my best friends are quite aware of it.

I think I am obsessed with Jules.

Sometimes it scares me how obsessed I am with him. You know, I don't tell people this.. But sometimes when I'm at the office doing work out of a sudden I miss Jules and which I could just go home immediately. *I see judging faces there!*

Or when our office announce that we can go home 30 mins early I had this huge dream that I could go home and jog a few rounds. (I'm getting married, must keep fit. Hello?) Which obviously didn't happen. Why? Because whenever I get home from work Jules would greet me at the door and manja manja. Then I'd feel bad leaving him alone the whole day. I'd end up spending my whole evening (night too!) with him.

Or when that one time, I'd talk about Jules to all of my colleague. Until they shush me down. (Raymond je.) Hahah.

Or when A told me he could babysit Jules during raya haji and I declined because I want to sent him to his pet hostel so he could have his playdate with other cats.

Now as I'm typing this I realize how ridiculous I sound.

Sigh.

I need help don't I?

Help?

x

The Engagement II

Part Two

Because Part One are all words.. Part two will be a picture blog. I must warn you, this is a very long post FULL with PICTURES.

I'll link the contacts too just incase anyone is interested. Fair enough kan? :)

I was scared in the beginning because people always say careful of MUA; some might doll you up looking like a drag queen.. I honestly don't wanna look like a drag, especially on my little special day. I can safely say that I love my make up; it was by my senior during high school Syafieq Ayman. Kuddos to Abang Syafiq and team!

My girls came quite early. Aishah was the first one to arrive if I'm not mistaken, Shin uhh don't let me get started with Shin... She came all the way from Wangsamaju with a cab!! Terharu please! :') And Jaja.. sponsored the cake for my hantaran.

At about 11.30ish A's family arrived. I was nervous!!!!!! I even asked Aishah to swap role with me. Finally I asked the girls to accompany me until downstairs. (But they didn't. Hmph!)

During the discussion and thats me walking to my mini dais looking super nervous. Accompanied by? Mama's best friend hahah.

Andddddd. Just like that, his Momma put a ring on me. I am engaged! Wehoo. Lega!

---

Little details.

The baju

From the beginning I've always wanted mint green as the color for my engagement. Because I wanna keep white for my nikah. I feel its okay to play around with color and keeping it timeless for the wedding day later.

Opsie sorry fat finger interrupting there. Hah. Bought our fabric at the famous Jakel Shah Alam. Super expensive. Pshh. Not recommended. Could have gone to Jakarta and come back here, sama harga kut? Heh.

Since I spent so much on the fabric.... I sent for tailoring at our favorite Auntie in Wangsamaju. Gave her a rough sketch what I had in mind. And tadaaa! I think she did an awesome job! Very nicely done. Kemas jahitan nya bak kata mak mak, kan. Mind you, the tailoring only cost RM250. I kid you not ;)

The only problem was... My mom and brother keep on nagging me that the lace is too empty. No sparkle. No batu apparently. My brother even said "Macam baju tak tunang!" Aiyaiyai. So your trully added her own beadings. Just a very simple pearl beads.

The shawl? I didn't want veil. I thought it'd be too.... How do I say this in a nice way. Mmm over? So, bought baby creepe fabric, took the leftover lace and patched it. Oh why ofcourse I added beadings on it too. Nak kena nag lagi ke? -.-

The mini dais / mini pelamin

Its a love/hate relationship between me and my dais. I kinda love it, but I dislike it at the same thing. Hate would be too harsh. My dais was by Chenta Weddings. I like everything about it except....

• Their time management. Everything is a last minute notice. I mean, I didn't expect it from a well-known event planner... But worst is yet to come. They told me they were gonna set up my dais at 8 am, I applied my leave. Texted them, and they told me they were gonna come at 11. So I waited. Oh! Did I tell you I had to go to Wondermilk to pick up cupcakes for our doorgifts? Heh, clock struck 2. No signs. No texts. No calls. I had to whatsapp them macam Along kutip hutang somemore. Finally around 4, I gave up. I asked A to pick up the cupcakes for me. Finally they came in at 11pm! Well they have their own excuses. But whatever it is should have let your customers know, kan? 
• I asked for a different chair. They came in with this chair. Apparently, oval chair are the in thing for engagement dais. AND the chair I requested doesn't fit my dais. Could have told me earlier!!!

Besides that all good. Love love love the fresh flowers. Yes, ALL fresh flowers. I couldn't believe it either. And the huge hand bouquet. Lovely! :) The aftermath.. It was hard to keep all of the flowers around the house. Hahah.  (The picture doesn't do justice, fyi. There's four huge bouquet of flowers on the stand!)

Oh and we took tent packages with the pelamin and deco so that both synchronizes. I love the center piece of the tent, makes me regret doing our ceremony during the day. It would have been magical if it was at night! Sparkle all the way. Heh.

The hantaran

I love our hantaran. Its so pretty! Hantaran's are by Adib from Hantaran Adib. So I gave him 7 dulang, he gave me 5.

The items on my dulang for him are;

1- Sireh junjung
2- Fruits; green apples, grapes and strawberries. (All his fav)
3- Cake (Sponsored by Jaja)
4- Praying mat (Sejadah)
5- Pearl white fabric for baju melayu during nikah
6- A matching songket tenun sampin from Terengganu
7- Emernegildo Zegna perfume (Loveee the smell!)

The items on his dulang for me;

1- Tepak sireh
2- Praying veil from Siti Khadijah (telekung)
3- Patchi chocolate
4- A set of Coach Poppy perfume
5- Cake (The dulang where you see the Habib box there... Thats supposed to be the cake. It fell while making its way into my house. Drama sangat, I know!)

Adib starts from RM100 per dulang. But he is quite flexible about his price. Boleh mintak tawar kalau you pandai ayat. Heheh. Or/and you could also pay installment.

The F&B

This one, I am 100% satisfied. Food for me is super sedap. Ish. Should have eaten a lot more! I opted for lauk kampung. Couldn't find a better picture of the food.. Shesh sorry. The food that were served;

Nasi putih
Masak lemak daging salai
Ikan keli bercili
Pajeri nenas
Ayam goreng berempah

Ulam
Sambal belacan kick 

Sirap
Teh tarik

Curry puff
Tepung pelita (Hands down, I swear this is the best tepung pelita I've ever tasted!!! Ish asked most of my guest packed a few to take back home!)

They charge RM10-15 per person. Depending on your lauk, I think. You could contact; Mr Mazlan 0192136033. I am very sure that you will not be disappointed!

The doorgifts

Well well well. This has been an issue since beginning. I wanted to give tasbih and Yasin, from a dear friend- byhs. (Did I tell you, you could customize your own tasbih? Pretty cool, I know!!) But then I remembered, I have non Muslims friends too. So I opted for cupcakes instead. Just one maxi cupcakes from Wondermilk, since I am very sure it tasted good. Takut order from some random people, and turns out umm not so good. But mom, being mak mak.

"Ish kedekut nya lahaiii bagi sebiji je. Hm kita bagi 4 biji la."

Okay, 4 biji it is then!

"Tapi mama, kaklong dah deal dengan Nanie for tasbih and Yasin...."

"Okay lah both lah."

A was sweet enough staying over at our place the whole day helping us moving the furniture, picking up the cupcakes (which couldn't fit into his car at first!), and helping us to pack. 

Last but not least,

The photographer

I am a sucker for pictures. The first thing we discussed, I told mom I want a good photographer. Mom didn't wanna fork out that much. So I asked around and my cousin gave me this contact; blogged by Deen. A young and very talented photographer I must say.

We even had an outdoor shoot at Pusat Maritim, Putrajaya. Where A first met my parents :)

So, now... 

Bridezilla mode? 

ON! 

X

The Engagement I

Part One.

How did it all begin?

You know, I've always wondered.. How do you break the news to your parents that you're dating someone/ planning to get engaged. Coming from a strict family background; my dad is super strict about me dating boys. If he hates the boy, there's no way he's gonna turn back. My mom on the other hand, has always been easy about it. Meh not really, she pretends that she doesn't know but she knows. Mothers... Pshh.

Last December, me and A had a serious discussion about our future. He told me his plan is to get married before 26, while I told him my plan is to get married before 25. Well, that was my plan when I was in high school. You see, when you're 17.... 25 seems like a long long long way to go. But soon, before you know it.. You are twenty-freaking-five years old!!! Ah back to the story, so around January we had that talk again. This time he was really serious. Initially we plan to get engaged in March....

But.

My parents doesn't know about our "secret" love affair. I had to tell them. Every day A would asked me,

"So.. Dah tanya Mama?"
"Nanti lah, takde perfect timing."
"Hmm k." *merajuk a little. Because he thought I wasn't serious*

From Feb March... Finally I had the guts to tell them. I was scared of rejection to be honest. What if they disapprove him? My heart will break into little tiny pieces. Ish dramatic! I don't know why, but I told my dad first I still remember the exact words I said to him. We were both in the car, mom was out of town. Perfecttt, kan?

"Abah.. Kaklong ingat nak bertunang this May." (Had to change the dates, because well too chicken!)
"Hah? Kaklong dah ada calon ke?"
"Ermmm. Ada la.."
"Siapa?"
"Ada this guy..."
"Mana kenal?"
"Sama sekolah dulu, kenal since sekolah rendah lagi."

Next on is the normal questions. Study mana, kerja mana etc. The usuals I'd say. Last thing he said was..

"I can't tell you who's your Mr. Right. If you think he's the right one for you, understands you. Then I'm okay with it, Kaklong."

Phew! Only God knows. Lega. But next up... Mom.

You see.... I am actually a chicken. A scary cat. I didn't even dare to tell mom right infront of her. So I whatsapp her instead. Can't remember the exact thing she said.. I only remember..

"Mama kena lah jumpa dia dulu. Baru boleh decide. Ni bukan main main."

Umm.
I was so gelojoh you see... I brought him to see my parents the next day! And... Approved!

A week after we had a little merisik session. Not really a merisik, but his mom came to our house to discuss about the engagement etc.

Uh oh.

Things are getting more serious now ay.

X

I decided to stay

Ahoy readers..

So I finally decided to unprivate this blog. Might need some time for me to get back to writing. And ummm yes, I did read all of my sad/sappy entries- and yes I decided to keep it. Just as a little reminder for me and for those who can relate; its for you too! :)

This is obviously temporary might not even be legit anymore. I might even change it to this is obviously permanent? Heh high hopes sangat lah kan.

---

So....

I am now engaged. Not a surprise. Not something new. Got engaged on the 10th May; yes a day before my birthday. Which is sort of like my birthday gift.


To whom?

My ex boyfriend.
Or can I just say... My first crush masa 10 years old? Nyihihihi.

He gave me this when we were 12. Just look at his hobbies. Laugh now please! Hahah. 

And this is us today; after the ceremony.

More on the engagement on the next entry. 

X

There and then

Last week..

Went for an interview in IKEA. I wont call it as an interview because basically what we did what chatted, gossip updated each other- me, Irene and Jason. Sigh I hope I make it through.

Today..

I submitted my resignation letter. I guess I'm not that strong to face it all. I am not made for this. Mean people are mean. Took me a while to make this decision. But this 3 things that happen all in a month.

Ah go die la you people.

x

Content

I am in a such happier place right now, I couldn't ask for more. Alhamdulillah.. Finally, everything falls into place. And I hope it stays this way. :)

A has been such a sweetheart. And I hope I won't ruin things.

x

Moving too fast

"This weekend Ellisya pergi kursus kahwin. Dia kata nanti dorang nak tukar to one week."

"Ehhh mana boleh! Orang kerja la apa la. Takkan boleh buat punya la."

"Yeke? Betul juga. Tapi kata ada qiamullail semua.."

"Eh, tidur sana ke pulak?"

"Thats what they say la.. Better be safe than sorry."

"Jom?"

"Huh?"

"Jom la pergi kursus kahwin...."

"Umm. Ok. Jom?"

"Nanti search kat mana ok."

"Eh! Dia la search, kawan ramai dah kahwin."

"Ok, boleh."


And now.
I'm speechless.

Here in your arms

Yesterday.
I felt sick in the office. A came to pick me up. Thought he'd come with a car, instead he came with a motorbike. Parked it near Ampang Point, and drove my car home. Had a quick lunch at McD. I'm not gonna lie, but I felt good instantly. What is this la? Demam tipu tipu? No, I was really sick. Doctor said my temperature was 39c. Which was pretty high.... Anyways, it was sweet of him. Smitten all over again. (Ish!!!)

Later that night, he sent me this..

Erm...

So... I thought its about time he knows this..

Mind the clip, the lyrics...

"I felt inlove, inlove with you suddenly..."

Thought he didn't notice it. But boy, cepat pick up lah this guy. (I think I'm the only one who takes hint slow..) He asked me, 'I felt inlove, inlove with you suddenly?' I didn't reply though. 

Let it be.

Time will tell. 

x

Sunshine gone

I'm confused.

I like A, a lot. Like a lot. The thing is.. He just got out from a 7 years relationship. 7 freaking years. Not just lah, they broke up like a year or two. But the situation is a bit like O and me. We didn't have a proper goodbye. Just no strings attached. But him on the other hand, the ex has 'moved on' to another guy.

Until...

She saw his comments on my instagram. She was furious. And he felt guilty.

Why.

Why do you have to rain on my parade?

Working Girl

I officially hate my job. I freaking hate it. But the only thing that keeps me going is I don't wanna be a quitter. I don't want my baby brother to see me as one. (Yet I've quit so many times before.. Well thats another story.)

So, lets see how far this goes.
Or I shall move on to Plan B this August.

Look on the bright side?
A came all the way from Shah Alam (may I add after work?) to have breakfast with me. Sigh what did I ever do to deserve a sweet guy like this?

Till then,
I. Hate. My. Job.
x

Betwixt

So...

I started my first day at work. It was....... Horrible. Let me spill the deeds into points:

• Washroom- Shared. Yes, shared into one are divided into 2 spaces. So, you can powder in the washroom basically because a guy might come out of the washroom and it'd be all awkward.
• Surau- SHARED. Yes, I repeat SHARED. Only one surau. And how do you alert the gents if you're inside? By putting your girly girly shoe outside. So, what if a girl is wearing a boyish kinda shoe? Wise word of my trainer... Nasib lah! 
• No overtime pay (OT) or anything for me. And I might have to work during the weekends for certain occasion. 
• 6 freaking months of probation.
• 6 freaking months of probation with NO LEAVE. Only UNPAID leave.
• Insurance? Only for staff. No applicable for spouse, children. 
• Maternity leave only for the first five kids. ---- told A this, he said are you planning to have 11 kids? No, but I don't think its fair for some people. Anak kan rezeki... ;)
• You have to wear make up to work errrrrrrday! (Everyday)
• "Kalau you tak pakai lipstick, I tonyoh marker pen dekat bibir you!", Trainer. What. The. Hell. I feel like I'm in school again!
• We had to put our hands on the desk so she could check our nails. IS THIS EVEN NORMAL?!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay thats all. I hate this place. *repeat with me*

x

Unemployed No More

By the time you're reading this (as if I have readers?), I am starting my first day at work. Eeeks! My first real job!!! How exciting. And nerve wrecking at the same time! I'll be working somewhere in Ampang- still in the retail department. Because firm sucks. Hahah.

Guys,

You're now talking to PANDORA Malaysia's Visual Merchandiser Executive.

*ehems*

x

Secrets Out

Almost 3 weeks (or so) this little affair has been going on. Nobody knew. (Except for my best pals. Duh! I can never keep any secrets from them!) As for our mutual friends... Nope. Nobody knew. Until he received a text messages yesterday afternoon......

"Ooooooooh kau sekarang dengan Belle eh!! Dah habis ah, semua orang aku dah kecohkan."

He was so freaking nervous. He even trembled. But acted cool.

"Ye ah, memang la aku dengan Belle ni dekat Paradigm. Kenapa?"

"Cinta kenangan silam."

He showed me the text above. We both bursted out laughing. Makes sense.. Afterall we were each other's first puppy love anyway. Teheee :)

On the other hand, things are moving way too fast. (I think..) Met his sister's family yesterday. Even hung out with them for a while. His niece....... Adorbs!! I want one of those little smiley baby tooooo!

x
Ps: I am very much still single. Mingling around wont hurt, no?

Smitten

"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you."

Yesterday, today, tomorrow..

x

Confession

I think..... I like you, A.
I really, really do. 

Resolution

Umm.

Its the first of March 2013.I just made my 2013 resolution. I hope I'm not too late to join the bandwagon? 

Well.

There's not much.

I only want to spend most of my time with my family- my parents, best friends, friends- no matter who you are, and extended families. Because you never know when you'll see them again. I want them to know I appreciate them with all my heart. Ah.. My previous trip has totally change me to someone more positive, and I hope it stays this way, InsyaAllah.. I see things clearly now, and I thank Allah for that. Thats what I've been praying for all these while. :')

I've been spending lots of my time with my parents, and my best friends. I had lunch with my ex from high school! Surprise surprise. Though I hesitate at first, but then I thought to myself why not? He's still a friend (well, sorta..) of mine isn't he? Talked, and laughed for hours. Oh yeah that dude is getting married soon!! Alhamdulillah..

Oh.

And lets just hope what I have plan out for this year will become a reality.. No I am not getting married. Not anytime soon until I found my Mr Right. 

I'm leaving all the negativities aside. 

And move on! 

x

Finale

You know that feeling, when you wanted someone so badly. Not a certain someone, but just someone special who you could talk to about your day, tell him your worries, share whatever you have on your mind, and he'll be listening to you, smile and tell you everything's gonna be alright. And you on the other hand, believes him. Because.. Just because he has this glow on his eyes that makes you trust in him.

Uhuh.
Yeah jetlag is making me watch movies back to back every mornight as what H told me.

But ofcourse, we all want that. Or at least thats what I want. Not now though. Don't even think I'm ready to be in a relationshit. To be honest, I'm just traumatized by it. Heheh. Dramatic much?

.

On a lighter note, I finally have the courage to delete ALL of our photo's. (Read; 2,000 photos) Now all of the evidence is gone. Kapish! Well not all of 'em are photo's, some are just print screen from our skype session, videos he made for me for my birthday's or anniversary and shit. Yep, all gone. Truth is, I kept it for over a year now because... I felt that there's hope. Not that I look at it every now and then. Honestly, last time I looked at those photo's was when I was making him his goodbye video. Almost two years ago? You know, who knows... He might change to be a better person. The person I fell inlove with.

But..

During my recent visit to London, I met him. Fine, I am a person who can not keep her words.... He just came back from Barcelona, swing by to London the next day (did I mention he ponteng his class?). I on the other hand did not expect him to come at all!  Funny because we met at Oxford Circus Underground. So it was kinda like a surprise because we did not plan to meet there. There he stood, looking all awkward with his grey coat, brown leather sling bag, and jeans, he came by and said, Hi you.. and smiled. I was nervous, acted all cool tho. He asked me where I wanna go. Then, there we go wandering the streets on London, just the two of us. Went to Emirates Stadium, Abbey Road, lunch at Camden Town, and tea at Starbucks, Westfield. Yep, quite a number of places for someone to go considering we only had like 8 hours?

Sadly.

I realized. He's a different person. Totally different. We talked, updated each other about our lives, change views on things, but things are not the same anymore. Maybe I've changed too. I don't feel what I used to feel. He even told me he's seeing someone now, well I... I was a little jealous. But I don't feel sad, at all. So thats when I realize.. I don't love him anymore. I just want someone as a boyfriend figure. Maybe the only person I had in mind is him, since he gave me all that before. But I'm sure I can find another guy who can treat me better. :)

.

I told Mama the whole thing. Her jaw dropped. Boy, was she furious!

"Awat keluaq dengan orang yang panggil Kaklong macam-macam?"

Entah.

"Kalau Mama jadi awak lah, Mama tak pi dah."

Bukan plan pun, Ma. Dia dah datang.

"Biaq pi dia la!"

Thats when I realize, no matter what happens no one will ever love you more than your parents. Just cherish them when they're still alive. :')

.

Oh, remember G? I kinda.... Putus kawan with him. Sounds funny but I can not take his bullshit anymore. He lied to my face repeatedly. So I told him to stay away from my life. I am mean, liddat. I know.. He said I'm a cold hearted girl. I might be.

Oh well.

The world works in mysterious way ay?

Till then,
xxx B